Sex And The...50s

A fifties hygiene film with an updated soundtrack.

Does a Hysterical Paroxysm come with that Vag treatment?

Not only are our ladyparts in need of tightening and trimming, they're also apparently out of shape. This, according to a story in the NY Times today about a new spa:

At the spa, the signature treatment will be a $150 gynecological exam — in which a client contracts her pelvic muscles around Dr. Romanzi’s fingers — to determine by feel whether muscle tone is weak, moderate or strong...

Clients could also use an in-office electrostimulation machine to improve pelvic muscle tone or buy a device for home use. Dr. Romanzi said that such treatments are intended to improve bladder control; she said pelvic training may also lead to more intense orgasms...

I don't know about you, but I don't want anything with the word 'electro' anywhere near my special place. But this does put me in mind of the delightful 19th-century treatment for female hysteria, wherein a doctor would use 'pelvic massage' to bring his patient to 'hysterical paroxysm" (which is Victorian for orgasm). The tiring nature of administering this treatment led to the invention of the vibrator and the rest, as they say, is history.

Thanks to Cynthia for telling me about the Times story and totally depressing me.

How the media covered the teen pregnancy outbreak

This post is by Jess, one of our fabulous Trixie Films interns:

There is a fascinating article from Time magazine about the sexual decisions of a group of young women in Gloucester, Massachusetts. All under the age of 16, they collectively decided to get pregnant and raise their children together independent of the support from their families or the fathers.

[Update:Apparently, it wasn't a pact. There are just a whole heck of a lot of girls getting pregnant in Gloucester.]

The journalist for this piece chose to frame the information in a way that reflects the teens' reckless behavior in contrast with the Catholic community, a community that is apparently not upholding traditional Christian values since part of the explanation for the behavior is that these girls all come from "broken homes."

The quote that really floored me was the following: "The high school perhaps has done too good a job of embracing young mothers." Gloucester High School has proclaimed a commitment to helping young mothers finish their high school education, and yet, even the journalist appears to be somewhat skeptical of the value of this commitment.

It seems contradictory that the families in this town are blaming the school system for a breakdown of their own values because health care providers and teachers want to provide contraception options to these 15-year-olds. There aren't any reproductive health clinics near by, and teen pregnancy is a regular issue for the community anyway. If the families are not taking the matter into their own hands to discuss this with their young women, then what is supposed to happen to further their education and personal options? Noting the influence of pop culture in films such as Juno also appears to be an attempt to assign responsibility largely to external factors in the lives of these young women.

An 18-year-old mother who just graduated from the high school said, "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," and that she was constantly told how lucky she was to have a child. Even more interesting is that one of the fathers was a random older man, as though these young women really didn't want the men to be in the picture at all.

It would be more illuminating to explore the issue of why these young women are thinking this way, and why they are really convinced that they ought to take such serious steps to do this. Rather than treating the whole thing as a spectacle or some form of shock-value entertainment, a thorough exploration of relevant issues should take place.

Note: Another Time story, "Give the Gloucester Girls a Break", by Nancy Gibbs offers some more thoughts on the pregnancy epedemic, including attitudes towards abortion in this Catholic community.

Swearing virginity to live like a man, in Albania and elsewhere

The NY Times has a fascinating story about a 500-year old Albanian custom that's now dying out in the wake of stronger women's rights.

The sworn virgin was born of social necessity in an agrarian region plagued by war and death. If the family patriarch died with no male heirs, unmarried women in the family could find themselves alone and powerless. By taking an oath of virginity, women could take on the role of men as head of the family, carry a weapon, own property and move freely.

They dressed like men and spent their lives in the company of other men, even though most kept their female given names. They were not ridiculed, but accepted in public life, even adulated. For some the choice was a way for a woman to assert her autonomy or to avoid an arranged marriage.

“Stripping off their sexuality by pledging to remain virgins was a way for these women in a male-dominated, segregated society to engage in public life,” said Linda Gusia, a professor of gender studies at the University of Pristina, in Kosovo. “It was about surviving in a world where men rule.”

Throughout history women have sworn virginity for greater autonomy. The Vestal Virgins had both great responsibility and great wealth, as long as they never became involved with a man - an act that automatically lost them their autonomy. The downside: breaking your vows got you buried alive. Nuns also enjoyed special privileges with their vows of chastity, like literacy and not dying in childbirth.

Design your own abstinence t-shirt!

Attention, designers! Keith Deltano, our favorite badass motivational speaker for the teenage Abstinence-Only set, is having a t-shirt design contest! Here are his guidelines:

The T-shirt can be cutting edge comedy, drama, or any other “form” you think might work. You can even “morph” other current T-shirt designs to fit your purpose. Themes can be disease avoidance, going for goals, sex as a threat to health, why sex and love are not automatically connected, why love is more than sex, a theme from my show.

Since he encourages 'morphing' other current designs (copyright infringement, anyone?), a quick cruise through CafePress yielded some inspiration. I especially like the multipurpose message of "Pet your dog not your date - but if you're going to third base, do it with your date." That pretty much sums it up for me.

We'd enter our own 'The American Virgin' design - simple and elegantly ambiguous - but we met Keith last year and he's not exactly our biggest fan. Hurry - contest ends June 25th!

Don't hate the doctor, hate the patriarchy

Ellen Goodman's column linking hymen restoration surgery abroad to Abstinence-Only activities here in the US is another reminder that compelling women to remain virgins until marriage isn't just a Muslim issue. But her anger at the doctors performing the surgery seems a little misplaced:

All in all, the flip side of purity lectures is the conviction that sex -- and the girls who have it -- is dirty. On either side of the Atlantic, doctors in the "like a virgin" business are not only accomplices of private deceptions, they are accomplices to those who keep the reins of sexuality out of women's own hands.

Yes, many doctors profit off sexism at $2,000+ per hymen. But they're also the ones dealing with all those people dragging their daughters or future wives into their offices demanding a virginity test. These doctors know there's no such thing, and more often than not, pronounce in favor of the women anyway. In fact, doctors have been protecting women at risk for many centuries, about as long as idiot relatives have been demanding a non-existent "proof" of purity.

The letter the NY Times won't let you see!

OK, so it's just a letter to the editor I wrote in response the the hymenoplasty story they did. They didn't run it, but thanks to the magic of the internet, I can just post it here:

Re: "In Europe, Debate Over Islam and Virginity"

Although this story focuses on French doctors, the procedure is done all over the world, even here in the good old liberal USA. It's not done exclusively by Muslim women either, as the Times story suggests, but also by women from Latin-American countries. Quite often, women who have never even had sexual intercourse get stitches put in - just to make sure they bleed on their wedding night (since many women don't bleed their first time).

The whole issue of testing and restoration is completely maddening and mind-boggling, particularly because the hymen – an elastic and ever-changing little membrane that wasn't even 'discovered' until 1544 – is in no way a reliable indicator of virginity. And yet, we have placed profound and enduring moral value on its condition.

Take that, Letters to the Editor.

This will get McCain all those Clinton votes!

"The McCain Women's Clinic," a series of little videos on John McCain's reproductive rights policies brought to you by Brave New PAC and Planned Parenthood.

A Metropoli Magazine collection

When I'm not busy being the Virginity Diva, I work as a graphic designer here in New York. It was my first love and the income is super handy for keeping creditors at bay. So I just have to share this latest find:

My pal Karl, the International Graphics Guru, kindly sent me a link to these glorious Metropoli covers from Spanish newspaper El Mundo. The whole spectacular collection is at Speak Up and an interview with the designer Rodrigo Sanchez is here. Enjoy.

Take the McCain-Bush Challenge!

Whose reproductive health policies are worse: John McCain's or those of our current abstinence lovin' prez? Planned Parenthood Action Fund just made a nifty little video about it. Hint: One of them is against insurance plans covering contraception, and it aint Bush.

Hymen reconstruction: It's not just for Muslims

The New York Times just ran a story on hymen reconstruction surgeries, a topic I've written about and have been researching in Turkey. Since it came out, it's become the most forwarded story on the New York Times website.* The story makes it seem like this is only a Muslim issue, but in fact many Latinas undergo the procedure for much the same reasons.

Gynecologists say that in the past few years, more Muslim women are seeking certificates of virginity to provide proof to others. That in turn has created a demand among cosmetic surgeons for hymen replacements, which, if done properly, they say, will not be detected and will produce tell-tale vaginal bleeding on the wedding night. The service is widely advertised on the Internet; medical tourism packages are available to countries like Tunisia where it is less expensive.

“If you’re a Muslim woman growing up in more open societies in Europe, you can easily end up having sex before marriage,” said Dr. Hicham Mouallem, who is based in London and performs the operation. “So if you’re looking to marry a Muslim and don’t want to have problems, you’ll try to recapture your virginity.”

*Funders take note. People are INTERESTED in this subject. Is it too much to ask for a bit of funding??

Ever have that 'not-so-fresh' feeling?

Here in Istanbul, women routinely remove every last bit of hair not growing out of their heads, saying it's much 'cleaner' this way. Just the other day, the waxer at the posh Ritz Carlton was trying to convince my gal pals and I to please clean ourselves up in a similar fashion.

Having decided to remain just slightly more au naturel for the time being, I was fascinated to read about a new novel "Wetlands" by German author Charlotte Roche. It's causing a whole big mess of controversy, partly because of its intentional gross-ness, but I was especially delighted by this description in the NY Times:

Ms. Roche, 30, has long identified herself as a feminist and...describes the book as a cri de coeur against the oppression of a waxed, shaved, douched and otherwise sanitized women’s world.

Newspapers here have contrasted her unhygienic, free-spirited fictional heroine to an American-import model of womanhood: the stable of plucked, pencil-thin contestants on “Germany’s Next Top Model,” a popular reality show hosted by the German supermodel Heidi Klum.

But Ms. Roche told the audience here that her inspiration for the book came not from those women, but from the feminine-product aisle of her local store...Ms. Roche explained, to howls of laughter, how the lemon-scented products called out to her in uncensored terms that she was, as the commercials put it, not so fresh, or at least not fresh enough.

True Love Waits, but sorry, only in Girls' sizes...

Here's a timely fashion item, courtesy of Mother Jones:

Kmart's Abstinence Pants Maker Says: Yes You Can!

Yes, I said "abstinence pants." Kmart in-house designer Piper & Blue has jazzed up this year's summer collection with a pair of sweatpants for teen girls that say "True Love Waits" in your choice of colored bubble letters. No, there is no corresponding set for boys.

But there is an official Piper & Blue designers' blog that lets you know how you should be thinking about your summer couture. And maybe it's just me, but some of the suggestions seem a little risque for the True Love Waits crowd. "Top garments like coats and jackets are what an onlooker sees first," warns the blog. What do they see next? Well, if you wear their "football jersey," that would be "a casual outfit that's super stylish and easily accessible!" Easily accessible? Uh oh. "These days, you don't need a bank account like Britney's to get Lindsay's look." You, too, can model your style on two of our culture's pillars of Christian morality. That particular post is entitled, "Hollywood Glam? Yes You Can!"

Though brimming with advice, the blog is sadly silent on the topic of the abstinence pants. It does, however, justify its similar, albeit less-political sweatpants: "By pairing a cute tee with embellished sweats, you'll look ready for action, not bed."

Sexism and the City

Women & Hollywood just posted an excerpt of what must be the most sexist anti-'Sex and the City' vitriol I've read yet. And that's no mean feat given the intense competition for the honor:

"Jeff Wells from Hollywood Elsewhere who earlier called Sex and the City a "Taliban Recruitment film" has bested himself by publishing the most misogynistic column in response to Sex and the City's box office success.

It's also, arguably, an indication that a certain portion of middle-class American females -- pre-teens, teens, 20- and 30-somethings, middle-agers -- are, no offense, social dimwits and aesthetically clueless saps with the collective depth of three or four quarters laid on top of each other.

The single biggest negative for the image of African Americans over the last 15 years was their widely reported elation when O.J. Simpson was found not guilty. People read those stories and saw the video clips and said to themselves, "What...?" The SATC phenomenon, I submit, is on a par with this -- a cultural snapshot showing everyone in the world how utterly shallow and culturally nowhere mainstream American women have become, for the most part. If, that is, they continue to embrace this film over the next few weeks. One weekend's worth of enthusiasm doesn't make it a bona fide hit.

I'm obviously not speaking of women who are educated X-factor urbans, academics, journalists, hipsters, poets, creatives, etc. I mean the average American suburban woman with her fucking credit cards who sees herself as being "in the game" regardless of her age.

Where can a gal get a new hymen in this town?

I'm in Istanbul right now doing research on hymen reconstruction surgery. The cost, in the low thousands, bears no relation to the complexity or length of the procedure. It's outpatient surgery, done in the office and takes no more than two hours. One gynecologist I spoke to said it was just a matter of putting in a couple of stitches, enough to produce the requisite two drops of blood for the wedding night. This is by no means a Turkish thing – I had drinks with an Iraqi the other night who said it was exactly the same over there.

So although everyone knows about it and almost every gynecologist does it in their private offices, no-one – and I mean no-one – will go on the record about doing it. An Islamic journal describes it as: a potential fraud against the future husband of the woman...and according legitimacy to hymen restoration surgery would result in the dilution of societal sanctions against premarital sex, which in turn would encourage waywardness.

Apparently, you get the procedure done in a state hospital if you've been raped or had an accident that damaged your hymen. Like when you went 'horseback riding' last weekend. So basically if the broken hymen 'wasn't your fault' the state will happily pay to turn you back into a model of female virtue.

Hymens, Lost and Found

A Turkish friend just shared this experience with me...

"I had to have a forceps delivery, so I had to have stitches. When my husband and I were allowed to have sex after the birth, I had some pain and some bleeding.

Both of us were scared, so I called to doctor to ask if the bleeding I'd experienced was normal, and he said "I wanted to give your husband the gift of virginity!" (I wasn't a virgin when I met my husband)

I was pissed....but what was done was done. The same OB did my son's circumcision. Talk about reconstructive surgery!"

Did they vote for Obama too?

A puzzling tidbit from the Guttmacher study. How did our crack Trixie Films research team miss this fascinating correlation?

"Teens of white ethnicity and higher socioeconomic status were more likely than their peers to have ever had oral or anal sex," the researchers wrote.

Study says there's no such thing as 'technical virginity.' Well, duh, we could have told you that.

Blowing the whole 'rainbow party' concept out of the water, a recent study by the Guttmacher Institute found that most teens having oral sex were also going all the way.

The researchers found about 55 percent of the teens said they had engaged in oral sex but that this practice was far more common among those who also had engaged in vaginal sex. Teens said they began vaginal and oral sex at roughly the same time -- by six months after first vaginal intercourse, 82 percent had also engaged in oral sex, according to the study.

"There is a widespread belief that teens engage in nonvaginal forms of sex, especially oral sex, as a way to be sexually active while still claiming that, technically, they are virgins," Laura Lindberg of the Guttmacher Institute in New York, who led the study, said in a statement.

"However, our research shows that this supposed substitution of oral sex for vaginal sex is largely a myth. There is no good evidence that teens who have not had intercourse engage in oral sex with a series of partners."

No mention, as always, whether the oral sex went both ways. Now, that's a statistic we'd really be interested in.

Losing it, earthworm-style

From evolutionary biologist Olivia Judson's great NY Times blog The Wild Side. The story is on about how males of various species tailor their sperm count according to real or perceived competition. I can't resist this tidbit on earthworm virginity:

"An earthworm mating with a worm that has had sex before gives around three times more sperm than it does when mating with a virgin. (Sex in hermaphrodites can take one of two forms, depending on the species. Either one partner plays the male and the other plays the female; then they — usually — swap. Or both animals transfer sperm to each other simultaneously. These earthworms are of the simultaneous type, so an animal will lose both virginities in the same sexual encounter.) How can worms tell if their partners have mated before? It’s not clear; perhaps virgins smell different from other worms."

Proof once again that the we've got nothing, sexually speaking, on the rest of the animal kingdom. There's lots more in her book: “Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to All Creation: The Definitive Guide to the Evolutionary Biology of Sex”

Results are in! I'm Still A Virgin If...I just say no

In response to the question I'm still a virgin if..., a plurality of votes went to the definition of sex favored by Bill Clinton: He did not have sex with that woman! Here are the results:

Just say no to all of the above: 51%
Express myself orally: 31%
Play 'just the tip': 11%
Use the back door: 7%

For more conversation on the definition of virginity, scroll down to the comments on the item about our fundraiser. Stay tuned for our next poll...